It's time to start living again. It's time to start searching for a new job.... to start seriously trying to create an addition to our family again... to start enjoying the simple pleasures of life again. I have been standing still since the day that we lost Ricky, not trying, or even wanting to try to move from this place of pain and desperation. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Perhaps my time of mourning is not over, but I do recognize that it is time to move on to the next stage. It's not that I haven't seen the world's beauty since I lost him. I've seen it. I've even basked in it on occasion. It just didn't feel 'real' to me. It wasn't tangible anymore. I have laughed, but my laughter has been hollow. Only my pain has been honest. Only my heartache has been corporeal. It's time to move away from that.

Part of me doesn't want to leave this place. I want to sit here alone with the memory of my son. I know that I can't do that. I can't do that to myself and I can't do that to his memory.

Movement..... velocity.... it is time.