So far it's just been one of those challenging days. I knew already it would be a rough day emotionally. I would have been 24 weeks pregnant today and 24 weeks is the age of viability. If I had made it this far in my pregnancy my son would have had at least a chance of survival. Oh how I ache to have him still safely tucked inside of me.

So I was having an emotionally difficult morning already. At 10:50am I still hadn't managed to get out of bed and showered and dressed when my doorbell rang. At my door was the 'stadswacht' or the 'city watch' to translate it literally. I was immediately confronted with a very rude and angry woman who informed me that it was illegal to dump garbage into public parks and if I didn't clean up my mess before next Wednesday that I would have to go to court. Well I am NOT the one who dumped trash from my garden in the park across the street and I told her that. She got up in my face, yelling, saying that she had already CONFIRMED that I had dumped the trash there and I had to clean it up ASAP. I'm not doing too well lately controlling my emotions and my blood started to boil. I'm ashamed to say that I got in a bit of a shouting match with her right in my front yard. Now, my normal reaction to such a thing would never have been to get so angry. I'm not really an angry person. I'm almost always able to react to people with dignity and respect, even if I feel that they are rude and don't necessarily deserve it. Today wasn't one of those days though. I guess she just ASSUMED that it was from our front yard since we recently re-landscaped it. Regardless, I am totally ashamed and embarrassed by my reaction to her.

Now I'm having a problem letting that angry feeling go. Now I'm just feeling bitter and upset and in a terribly bad mood. I feel like throwing things! I feel like lashing out at the world. Maybe it's not such a bad idea if I stay in today.