My parents are here! It's nice. It just feels really good to have family around me. There hasn't been a whole lot of bonding time yet, they've got to overcome the jetlag first. I think everyone else in the house is sleeping at the moment. Even the two little piggies are hiding away in their houses.

I've been doing REALLY well lately. I feel like there has been a definate change for the better. I'm still very sad, and I still even cry a lot, but the dark, desperate, lonely grief seems to have lifted.

Yesterday was a sad day, I really couldn't keep my mother-in-law and Ricky off of my mind. I cried a lot while I was cleaning and preparing everything for my parents, but I was actually able to DO the work. Just last week I found myself sitting in a heap of weepiness because I was totally overcome by the work that had to be done. Then yesterday, no problems! No anxiety, no depression, just a few tears that I let freely roll down my face whenever it was necessary.

I'm looking forward to the future. I am starting to SEE a future again. Ricky will go with me through the rest of my life. I will always carry him and always love him. I'm sure there will again be dark days in my future, maybe even tomorrow, I won't know until then. For now I'm just going to enjoy the peace that surrounds me and the way that this smile feels on my face.