Friday, April 28, 2006
Ok, so my OB appt. is in an hour and a half.... I have to be there in 20 minutes to take blood so those tests are ready by the time of my appt. I'm feeling really guilty right now. This is why. Part of me is really hoping that something was wrong with Ricky and not that something is wrong with me. It's horrible feeling this way. I mean, he's my SON and I want him to be perfect, but if something is wrong with me then it could mean that I will never be a mother. I'm just really afraid of the results! There is NOTHING that they can tell me that will be a 'good' thing! I feel like a horrible mother because part of me is hoping that something was wrong with him. I just feel like then maybe I can accept that it happened. If they tell me he was perfect and nothing was wrong with him....... I just don't know how I'll be able to live with that.
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1 comment:
honey,
our bodies are imperfect - and sometimes there is a protection for itself - this doesnt mean that there was anything wrong with Ricky or you.
He is perfect in the life that he had - and you are perfect in the love you have within in your heart and being to love your child.
Always remember that Jehovah will never give us more than we can handle -
~bunnihuggles~
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