It's amazing, the things our minds can envision that we've never seen, the things are hearts can miss that we've never experienced.
I've been thinking a lot about my son this weekend. Who he would have been, what he would have become. The things we would have done together. The things I could have taught him, and the things that he would have taught me. There will never be a human being on this earth who will become what he would have become. Even if a dozen children fill this house with their footsteps in the time to come, there will never be another Ricky.
The uniqueness of him, those small little nuances in his character, those little things that would have set him apart in the world, those things that I will never know are the things that make my heart ache for him.
I'm an American woman, living in the Netherlands with my Dutch husband. On April 12, 2006 our sweet baby boy was born sleeping in my 17th week of pregnancy. This is my journey.
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1 comment:
Lisa,
I can imagine how difficult it is to want to know who your son would have been. I have the same kind of need with Kaeden and his autism...luckily I have him physically here with me even if mentally he always isn't. I am sorry you will never know who Ricky would have been...but I can guarantee you that in his short time here, I came to love him and who he was, just as I know you did. And I also guarantee you that he taught me a whole lot, mostly about compassion and empathy and sorrow...things I have not had to learn until he left this earth. Things I know will stay with me forever. I hope that it brings you some comfort to know that your son affected not only your life, but the lives of many. He brought the world a little something great and you can be proud of what you did learn from him, what others learned from him. Ricky had a very short life, and I ache that his future was taken from you. But when I think of your little boy, I know that I have become a better person because of him and I am so grateful for the short time that he was a part of my life.
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