It seems that my REALLY good days are almost always followed by REALLY bad days. I'm content with the days that are just days, neither really happy or really sad.

I've had a few bad days this week. Those days when getting out of bed feels like such an effort. Those days when I physically feel like my heart is breaking. No matter how well life is going there are still times when I just have to open up the memory box that I have for Ricky and cry. He was such a tiny little thing and SO beautiful. I still can't belive that something so pure and so beautiful came from me. Ok, I'm going to stop talking about this stuff for now because I'm only making myself cry. So far today has been an ok day and I want to keep it that way. On to other things.......


I have World Cup Fever! It's strange really, but I have been watching 3 soccer games a day (well, 2 of them I KINDA watch while I'm busy with other things, and the latest game I always watch with Erik in the evening.) Tonight Holland plays again and I am SOOOOOOOO excited about it. When they play it's fantastic. During the game there is NO ONE on the streets, and I do mean NO ONE! There is a park across the street from my house and it's always busy there, especially in the summer. NOT when Oranje is playing! I'm always amazed at how many people actually watch the games.

For some reason I finally understand why men (in general) like to watch sports so much. I mean, I don't get it with EVERY sport, but I'm starting to feel obsessed with soccer and I'm already feeling sad that the World Cup lasts only 3 weeks more. I always saw soccer as a bunch of guys kicking around a ball (that must be the American woman in me, I dunno.) Now I'm enthralled by it! Now I sit here yelling at the ref, "NO NO that WASN'T off-sides!!! Are you BLIND???" hahahaha Ahhhh well, it's a good way to release my frustrations I guess!

I guess that's all I have to say at the moment. I'm sure there will be an update this evening after Nederland WINS! (oh please oh please oh PLEASE WIN!)