Sympathy cards- I'm drowning in them. Now don't get me wrong, I think it's really kind that people send them to me, I'm just so tired of having reason for people to send me sympathy cards. I have a huge pile that we received after losing Erik's mom, and another huge pile we received after losing Ricky. Today in the mail there was one from our Vet wishing us strength while dealing with the loss of our pet, Lucy. It was enough to send me over the edge for a little while. It was enough to open up the flood gates and send me to the place of the 'ugly cry' for awhile. I feel like I can't breathe, like I don't even want to breathe anymore. I'm paranoid about what's coming next. I've always tried to be positive, but I feel like I can't keep setting myself up anymore. Every time I start believing that I'm going to be alright I get another kick in the stomache. I know that there are so many people in the world who have been through worse than this, but they must be stronger people than I am because for me it's just enough. I can't take anymore, I'm not even sure I can take what I already have.