You know how, when you wake up in the mornings for the first 30 seconds or so, everything is right with the world? I woke up this morning and I could hear the birds chirping outside and I felt that fabulous peace that comes from finally having a decent nights sleep (although it was drug induced) and the sun was shining through my window, and the sounds of spring were in the air.

Then I felt that sore, hurting feeling in my belly. And then it hit me again that my sweet baby isn't there anymore. Then I just felt angry that the birds could possibly find something to sing about, and that the sun could possibly have a reason to shine.

I know that there will be a morning someday when I can just keep feeling that peaceful feeling, and when I can look at the beauty in the world without having it burn my eyes. I just wish that was now.